I have been operating this business for thirteen months now and it certainly has its moments.  There are, as with any business, ups and downs but fortunately we experience considerably more ups than downs.  I do tend to go on about the problems we have with certain bookings and the poor time-keeping of some girls but the reality is that over 98% of all bookings go without a hitch and less than one in two hundred ever have a problem that cannot be easily resolved.

Obviously I receive all sorts of requests from customers and that is fine, they are the things I am really here to help with.  I am the last person on the planet to get embarrassed and actively encourage people to fully share their fantasies with me so that I can try and help them.    I am also a person who is totally non-judgmental, fully appreciating we all have different needs and desires and wildly differing fantasies.  The only things I will not accept are requests for under-age girls; requests to supply narcotics and anything that either demeans or causes pain to any of the girls.  Everything else is open for discussion.

I cannot help in some cases but I do my best for everyone.  If we cannot assist then I say so and we all move on without any issues.  However, some people just cannot be helped no matter how hard I try.  A very good example of this is an email exchange I had with a potential customer earlier this month.  I will not give you his name or nationality but below you will see the email transcripts between him and I.

INCOMING MAIL – 3rd APRIL, 2015:

Dear Sir,

I see web site and want one of your girls do special thing for me.  Please tell me how much for her do.

REPLY – 3rd APRIL, 2015:

Dear xxxx,

Thank you for your email.

To make a booking I will require the following information:

1. Your hotel name

2. Your full name as will be registered with the hotel

3. The name of the girl you wish to see

3. The date and time you wish to meet the girl

4. The length of time you wish the girl to stay with you.

Once you check in to your hotel we will require your room number.  Only once the room number has been advised to and verified by us will the girl commence her journey to meet you.  We therefore respectfully request you allow sufficient time for the girl to travel.

As regards the ‘special thing’ you require please advise me what this actually is.  I will then ascertain if we have any girl or girls that are able to accommodate your request.

INCOMING MAIL 4th APRIL, 2015:

Why you ask – it is clear from my message that I want SPECIAL THING.  You have girl who do or not?

REPLY – 4th APRIL, 2015:

Dear xxxx,

Actually it is NOT clear from your message, well not to me anyway.  You simply say you want ‘Special Thing’ but do not tell me what that is or they are.

If you register as a member of the site then all of the girl’s services are contained on her own page along with twelve additional pictures.  You will also be entitled to take advantage of Members Special Offers that appear from time to time.

Should, having viewed the services offered, your ‘Special Thing’ not be shown then please get back to me and advise exactly what it is you want.

INCOMING MAIL – 6th APRIL, 2015:

Are you stupid?  I think you must be very, very stupid man and also very rude.  I ask simple question and then you tell me be member but how I know if I want member when you not tell me if girl will do my special thing I ask you for.

REPLY – 7th APRIL, 2015:

Thank you for your last message and I must say that you are incredibly perceptive as I actually am both stupid and rude.  These are possibly two of my bigger faults although I have hundreds of others I will be happy to list should you require.

When I first read you last message my initial inclination was to simply delete it and block you from our email account.  I have, however, after a good night’s sleep, decided to give this one last go.

There is simply no point you writing and telling me you want girls to do ‘special thing’ to or for you without actually telling me what that special thing is.  For example, do you want her to go to the shops or pop down to the local 7/11 and buy you a packet of cigarettes?  Perhaps you want her to wash your car or stand in the corner wearing a dunce’s hat for an hour – how on earth do I know.

So, for what is very likely to be the last time, please tell me what the special thing or things are that you want the girl to do.  At the same time please refrain from replying and telling me I am stupid and rude – this is now already an established fact.

INCOMING MAIL – 7th APRIL, 2015:

I will see girl for ten hours from 17:00 on 15th May at my hotel which is xxxxxxxxxxx.  I will give you room number when I arrive.  My full name is xxxx xxxxxx.

I still need know which girl do my special thing.

REPLY – 7th APRIL, 2015:

On the face of it we appear to be making progress but unfortunately that is just an illusion.

The real issue remains as to what the special thing you want the girl to do actually is.  Without knowing this I cannot suggest a girl for you that I can guarantee will be able to perform whatever act or acts it is you wish her to perform.

INCOMING MAIL – 7th APRIL, 2015:

Now I will go other agency and they will give me girl who do my special thing.  They will not, for sure 100%, be rude and ignorant like you.  How you so unhelpful and stay in business I not know.

F*** OFF

REPLY – 8th APRIL, 2015:

Dear xxxx,

Thank you so much for your kind words, I will treasure them.

Whilst I have no problem with you boring another agency senseless with your inane impossible question (to which the answer surely must be 42) I am now going to be left forever wondering what this bloody special thing you want is.  Never mind though, do not bother replying as the mail will simply bounce back as your address has now been blocked from this account.

Take care, sweet dreams and best of luck with your special thing.

THE END

Now please somebody, anybody, tell me what did I miss?  Three weeks on and I remain in a state of complete confusion as to what his damn special thing was.

So we continue onwards and wait for the next lunatic to escape the asylum and be magnetically attracted to my email address.  Whilst waiting for him though I can assure the rest of you as polite and positive a response as this rude, ignorant and stupid man can muster.

Take care,

Kevin